The art of communication....

So, after being married for almost 7 years this summer, I am re-learning how to communicate and effectively listen. This is hard because after so many years with someone, you just get in the same rut and think that you are communicating effectively. After a marriage counseling session, I think Brandon and I have realized that we have lost our way in this battle for effective talking and listening. Men and women process information totally different from one another. I mean, with the help of the counselor, I started with a statement and Brandon was to understand and reply back what he heard and I was to say Yes that's what I said or no. And this was kind of astounding. We both put our own Jen and Brandon twist on each others words. Basically, the art of communication has broken down as well as actually listening to the words someone is saying. I left this session feeling like Brandon heard me and I felt like I heard him clearly for the first time in a while. Now we have a lot more work to do on many more issues but I am so hopeful that we will have empathy towards what the other one is saying that we will get the message instead of trying to interpret it to how it applies to each other.
Now also I am a smart person, but my way to trying to understand someone or something is to ask more questions to get more info to decide if I can accept the information handed to me. We all have a certain expectation for our mate, now weather we want to admit it or not, it's there. I am guilty of this. I prob and prod for more info to try to rationalize my understanding in my head and to try to make peace with an issue. This is tough folks. What if we stop probing and prodding and just accept the information handed from our mate and because we accepted them, things actually change instead of me constantly challenging the info. This was my Ah-ha moment to use the Oprah-ism. We are called to accept people for how God made them and understand will come after we accept them. Wow, deep Jen...ha ha! But really, I am beginning to understand that my questioning just leads to an annoyed husband that feels I am trying to get in every single detail of his life and that was not my point...I equated questioning to equal understanding. Did Jesus question everyone about all the details of their life or did he just love them unconditionally and accept them as the different human being that they are. My friends, this is eye- opening for me. I just pray for more insight to effectively communicate and listen to my spouse. This is all for now but I pray for more insight to be a better wife and follower of Christ in the days ahead!